Your Dog Is Not Giving You a Hard Time. Your Dog Is Having a Hard Time.

I'm Dale Buchanan, and this is Puppy Talk, the podcast that offers free advice and tips for raising a happy, healthy, and obedient puppy. For more information on this podcast, visit us online at puppytalkpodcast.com. Welcome to Puppy Talk Episode Number 139. I'm your host, Dale Buchanan. Today we're going to talk about a very important topic: the real reason dogs misbehave. Many dog behavior problems are rooted in stress, confusion, fear, frustration, or overstimulation, not stubbornness or bad behavior. Owners often misread what their dogs are actually communicating to them. The bottom line is your dog is not giving you a hard time, your dog is having a hard time. When you think that your dog is being difficult, be the dog from the inside out and find out if they are overwhelmed, confused, anxious, or emotionally struggling. The most common complaints that I get from dog owners when they call me are my dog won't listen. He's stubborn. She's acting out bad behaviors. He knows better, but he just doesn't want to listen. I refuse to take those comments as reasons why the dog isn't doing well when in reality they weren't properly trained to begin with. They didn't have the right structure. There was no accountability, and the owners misread the emotions, and the behaviors start to get worse when the owners reinforce them. So we have some work to do when a dog is not listening and they seem stubborn. It's usually just a communication barrier, or it's something in their structure that's not quite right. Dogs cannot explain emotions with words, so behavior becomes communication. Some examples are barking, lunging, pacing, jumping, whining, shutting down, avoidance, and destructive behavior. Many owners focus only on stopping behaviors instead of understanding what is causing the behaviors and teaching the dog to do alternative behaviors. Your dog's behavior, good and bad, is information. If they're not happy at home because they're always being nagged, then they're not going to listen and they're going to start doing things and trying to make decisions that they think are correct because they don't look at you as being a good leader and they don't trust you. They're trying to avoid you because they don't like the information that they're getting and they don't really know what to do. What having a hard time actually looks like from the dog's perspective? They're going to act it out with maybe anxiety. The signs of anxiety are panting, pacing, velcro or clingy behavior, hypervigilance, and unable to settle. They just can't stop and shut it off. Another example of having a hard time is they're constantly overstimulated. They have the zoomies, they're mouthing all the time, play biting too much, ignoring commands. And they have wild behavior after exciting activities. So you take them for a walk and they come back in the house instead of going to their bed and laying down and chewing a bully stick, they start running around the house like a flying squirrel, up on the couch, back down, up on the couch again, up on the chair, running around, doing everything that they want after they've been overstimulated from the walk. The next way that dogs can show that they're having a hard time is fear and insecurity. These signs include barking at strangers, reactivity, avoidance, growling, defensive behavior. If you notice any of these signs, then the dog needs to build some confidence. Got some fear that needs counterconditioning and desensitization, and it's insecure and it needs confidence-building exercises. That's what I do with some of the dogs that I work with that have fear and anxiety, I build their confidence. The next thing is frustration. Think of a kid who's not getting what they want and they throw a tantrum. They want a cookie from the cookie jar, they want candy in the aisle at the store, they can't have it. The parent says no, and they just throw a tantrum. That's dogs do that too. Dogs do that quite often. I get calls about that all the time. The dog is struggling emotionally, and they look like they're disobedient, but they're really not. How owners make things worse without realizing it. Mistake number one, punishing communication. The dog growls. Owner immediately corrects the growl. Dog learns warning signs are unsafe. Mistake number two, constant chaos, too much excitement, no routine in structure, constant stimulation, no decompression time, which is the most important thing in every dog's life, decompression and stillness. Mistake number three, inconsistency, different rules every day, emotional reactions from owners, meaning the owners are impatient and get frustrated too often. The dog senses that and they don't like it. This results in mixed signals. Mistake number four, expecting too much too fast. This is very common with clients that hire me. They want their dogs to be better behaved immediately. It doesn't happen that way. Bringing anxious dogs into overwhelming environments too quickly is a bad idea. Expecting the dog to change quickly is a bad idea. Dogs change on their own terms. They don't change on the owner's terms or my terms. They change at a rate that they are capable of changing, and that's it. And we have to be patient and wait for them to come up to speed so that they can be better dogs. Just remember that structure matters, but emotional stability matters too. What dogs actually need? One, calm leadership, predictability, consistency, clear expectations, emotional steadiness from the owner. Two, slowing things down. I say this a lot and I practice it a lot with the dogs that I train. Look at the Top Gun Dog Training Instagram page, and you'll see every dog that I bring to Home Depot, Hobby Lobby, Lowe's, Bass Pro Shops. I have videos of them laying down in the store with a ton of distractions. This is slowing things down, meaning more decompression and controlled exposure. Number three, building confidence. Small wins over time, that means a lot of praise, natural experiences, gradual exposure to triggers, not overnight. Always giving praise when the dog does just the smallest thing better than the moment before or the day before. Number four, teaching calmness, place training, duration work, relaxation exercises, rewarding calm states, not just obedience. A lot of people think that they bring their dog somewhere on a field trip outside of their house and the dog has to be moving all the time and doing all this activity. It doesn't. Like I mentioned a few minutes ago, the dog goes to a public location, outdoor mall or some dog-friendly store, and it lays down and does nothing and watch people walk by. That's the best skill you can teach any dog for socialization and calmness. Keep in mind that a calm dog is usually a clear-minded dog. When they start making decisions to sit and lay down on their own without being cued or without having orders barked at them or without having direction, then they are coming a long way and they are on their way to having emotional stability and having a clear mind. Just remember that many dogs are emotionally struggling, not trying to dominate or manipulate owners or other dogs in the house. Behavior is communication, and calmness and emotional stability should be trained intentionally, not just hoping that the dog will calm down as they get older. Hope you enjoyed the information in this podcast. If you have any questions about this episode or any of the other episodes, you can reach me through the website, puppytalkpodcast.com. Have a great day.